A MAD WORLD...indeed....

I don't like it... I really don't like what I'm feeling right now... I am still mad.... now I know who the culprit is..and how the story went... I'm sure he's up for a challenge.... I'd like to stay unclear like this so you wouldn't know who I'm referring to...yeah that's the way it's gonna be now... Since I'm probably on the edge...of thinking what to say to everybody else.... I was severely humiliated to tell my folks....and so will I be once I tell my brother in Ireland... I wonder what he would say about this....most probably, its gonna be "I TOLD YOU SO!".... Was I a hapless soul to expect? Was I wrong? Am I a victim of this situation?.... I don't just sit around and do nothing...On a normal occasion I should have resigned....coz it's the right thing to do in this situation...how could I just be left hanging like that?
I mean if it happened to other people, they couldv'e turned all the tables and flipped cars by now...I trust my mentor... that's why I'm staying... and I have friends here.....but if the workplace sucks bigtime!, am I gonna stay? or should I go..... My Ireland application is just around...if I pursued that... then that would be a deciding factor... I wouldn't wanna stay with this corp if it continues the culture of POLITICS... I hate it when you know you are on the right side of things, but you could never do anything coz somebody stops you for their own abrupt decisions! Dammit! I hate him!.....He has inflicted blood....I will do this in return... nobody knows how I'll be doing that... nor do I know how I'll be doing it...but let's just wait and see.... I hope they do something about it....I'm tired... I will be throwing the towel if it turns out bad again.... I'm waiting for the right time to do these....sometimes I hate myself....I'm so introvert.... I cant get mad.... why the hell am I ranting on my blog!

I'm MAD AT THIS SITUATION! MAD AT THIS GUY! AND JUST MAD! PLAIN MAD! ANGRY AND FURIOUS! DAMMIT! I AM IN THE EDGE OF BEING COMPLETELY DEMORALIZED!!!! GRRRRRR...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hageshii!!! Gekiretsu!!!!

I could never have thought that dreams could suddenly fade like s*** all of a sudden. I'm furious about it...but I'll never get it...I will never get it at all.... sometimes you just need to fail to expect these things...that expectation is not a good thing to do when you're not even sure....OMG I'm so mad...I mean who wouldn't be... the project suddenly collapsed....and here I am... lying in the ruins.....

ang yummy ko dito no?

Back to the topic: How about the handshakes? How about the congratulatory words they all said.... I even told my folks about it.....somebody left me hangin....like the cake out in the rain....yeah like the song.... I kinda got it already...before things like these were told to me.....right in my face...

Sometimes things are really not meant to be....all the things that you may probably have learned about people and how it should work....and the way it turned out afterwards....this is really bad.... how I wish I could just pig out.... leave this corp for a few years then just go back when I'm feeling better.....Go right ahead and check if you are really hired... coz if you are not...then don't expect too much...why the hell do I feel stupid.....why the hell do I feel furious.....

I'm beginning to hate myself...this corp....and everything else that's in it....I think it would be better to look for a new job....things did not turn out the way I liked it to be.... somebody failed....and I'm glad that it's me....
But I'd have to make sure the job pays well...I plan to do this soon....somebody out there might appreciate me more...

USA Here I Come!

Just got in...I think I will be travel'in to the US next month! woohoo!!!!! I hope everything will be great after this decision I made.....Whoopie!!!!! My career advancement is my priority....I hope this project will push through and make a mark on my story!!!! Whoohoooo!!!!! I'll tell you the story when everythin's final!! Whoopiedo!!!!

Wow!!!! Internet at my fingertips!!!!!

Wow!! I now have Internet access and I'm not restricted anymore!!! Weee!!! This is one happy day!!! My boss is already leaving and he'll be back after a few months....We ate a lot this afternoon....Then MIS finally fixed my Internet access...I'm so ecstatic!!!! Weee!!!!!! Now what do you think about my firebreather on top? I'm gonna make that my firendster backgroud someday but for now I'll just keep it here.... I would like to go out later so I better fix myself...hekhek.....find somebody to fill my emptiness....This is so much of a "DRAMA"....but maybe it'll come sooner or later.... Get another one while the iron's hot! Heheheh.....

Happy feet?...or cold feet?

Well...what do you know...after three long ardious months...my number 3 just gave up our relationship....this was a very tough one...
It kinda seemed a very long day for me...but i did not think it would come out that way....i thought the whole month of February was about love...and so I thought.....

We went to places where I thought it was convenient...to make love and all....got a present...flowers....and stuff....ate out...thinking it may end up a happy day for both of us... well the part we made love came true...but after that and a few sticks of cigarrettes...what blunted out was what lacked in our relationship...we didnt really had time....but I was making up to it right? was that and the effort not enough?......i tried...so hard but it still did not turn out right... This one knew it.... I have a girlfriend already ...but it did not matter as this one said.... My number one is already asking me to marry her but I begged off....of course! But this one said no matter what the issues I may have, it does not matter....well look at this issue now..... I thought we were happy and all...but was it that cold to bluntly say those things to me? I dont think I lacked attention...I make it a point that whenever I have relationships with other women I tell this one so it would not be an issue anymore...but why did it have to end up this way......this is so bad...... i feel so cold...but nobody will know....I'll have to give extra effort now to keep my self happy....I'll have to have a dose of deep house music!!!! ROOOAAARRR!!!!!!!

I'm Flooded with WORK!! ^_^ but I'm happy!!!

I hope none of my current relationships fade out...I mean, I want to entertain everything but I can't help it sometimes... If my current one knows about what I'm doing, it would really be my deathbed that comes next. I spent Valentine's day scheduling dates and everything, as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't want to get this current one to know. I literally went all the way North just to see, and feel, and get laid again. That's what we usually do when we meet, and sometimes its good since while we are doing it...we get to talk...a little but it means so much...i dont want this to end like my past one wherein we just lost things to talk about...we already had everything so we became bored...weird huh? it's sometimes like that.... i dont wanna argue about it.... she's the one?Think again....I wouldnt wanna get married yet...so that's that....i'll think about getting a family of my own if I'm already rich...filthy rich......



My boss is in town right now, I hope we dont get to dissapoint him....well my project's easy but you know how it is in this corp.... they think you havent done anything wvwn if you have tons already done....I'm thinkin about going out later...but my gosh...my meeting is at 8am tommorrow....what if I wouldnt be able to go to office on time....I was already late this morning...geeze.....So busy....but I really wanna go out later.....I can afford it... but can my body suffer longer? I havent been in the gym for 5 days already....geeze...my shchedule is a little hectic.....I hate it....oh my....will I still last? I hope so.....if not...i'll just sleep on it.... Lotsa dates later...like a post valentine treat....hopefully we all meet in one place so it wouldnt turn out bad afterwards....hahah...I'm a little naughty...but I'm still a hopeless romantic I guess.....I love them all....so I don't wanna lose anybody...
I hope I dont lose them all in the end. =)