The End of the World is Near! : Survival Tips 101

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The time has come when we have to face our creator. The END OF THE WORLD is near but I'm one of the lucky guys who will get to survive this ordeal. I won't die because I know how it is to survive out there. Maybe I can give you a hint or two how to do it.

First, grab a velvet rope.

Get your favorite, hot, good looking women to come along. Make your own shelter and tie em up like you want to. Make it sturdy, make it strong. You need every bit of your strength to make this a place you would want to live in. Take necessary steps to see that everything's secured. Tighten them up a bit if possible. Don't let go of the rope!

Second, grab a bottle of fuel.

Try and get your girls to build a fire. Make sure you keep it HOT. Warm yourselves up and make sure you are near the fire when you need it. It is necessary to stay close together and preserve energy. Use the oil for massage and get that soothing feeling you get in your back, arms, legs and everywhere you need to. Lie down and get those muscles the treatment they need. Make every single touch worth it!

Get your own handcuffs!

Get that girl that's oh so HOT or someone secured if they are going crazy with these handcuffs. Make them stay and only move when you want and where you want. Don't be surprised though that if one day they put this on you too. That's what you do to keep surviving; cuff if you get violent, cuff if you just want to have fun! The instances are limitless!

Use this Tourniquet!

Used on times where loss of blood is seen, the tourniquet can also be used in different applications. Wrap them or tie them up if you see someone who you want to isolate or keep for a long time. You can also use this to blindfold them if you want a more exciting night. This is survival and you'll do it by instinct... if it feels right go ahead and indulge!

The secret seems not to be such a secret anymore. If we're out to survive the END OF THE WORLD then we'll have to get one of these! Manly, musky, sweet at the same time.

If you guys still don't get it... then watch this!

Have I made my point?! :) Capisce?!

I thought so. =)


1 comment:

el toro bumingo said...

I love the idea that they're using the popularity of the 2012 end-of-the-world myth in their ad :)