Another EMOtional Ridden Day For Me!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I fear a lot of things but just a while ago news struck me that even my professional career is in the brink of awkwardness. I hate it when I discuss matters like these out in the open but I am quite appalled figuratively and literally. I don't know where they get these people but if they don't know what they are doing, is it right to tell them or should I just shut up and make them realize what wrong thing they may be doing later on?

I will probably resign if they push with changes, yes the damn HR ain't doing a good job listening to people. But since I am not in the position to tell them my POV, I would have to wait until my Philippine based Managers do something about it. If I need to fight for it I would, but things should not have gone into this state if HR only talked to the right people. I think resigning would be the honorable thing to do if my professional career does not turn out the way it should. I worked my butt off for crying out loud. It would be bad if someone from outside goes in my project and wreaks havoc to whatever things we already have established like a monkey who got his head chopped off because he does not have any idea of what we are doing. Am I saddened about it? That is an understatement, because as far as I know the person they plan to put here already had his team dissolved because of low performance ratings. Imagine if he brought that resume in our team, I wonder how that would be later on.

I'll try my best to calm down, at least I know what's happening. Now that I'm aware about what they plan to happen is it going to be me to act on it? Should I let them know about it? Do I have to say my piece again like the last dissappointment I got from this same department? Arghhh! The stress just kept on coming right after I took a short vacation. Talk about stress huh?! I did not take the opportunities I had a few months ago because I thought I had a future here. If that does not materialize I might need to re-evaluate things in my career and see what options I have early on. So if it turns out to be what I fear would happen, I would not be a sitting duck while everybody shoots at me. I have high hopes though that my dependable managers from US would help me with this one since they are the ones who are witness to my efforts as part of the team. If the Philippine based managers fail me then I would make it a point they'll feel they lost a limb and crippled without me. I hope they know what they lost afterwards.

Imagine working here for 5 years, not incurring any absences and even sacrificing my vacations just to keep my professional career spotless... then this comes along... I have so many things in my mind right now. I could cut myself and look EMO... or stay sane just for a while. Good thing I got the Phoenix tattoo to fit the part. I hope my wifey doesn't leave me if everything does not fall into place or if my plans just wither like dust in the wind. I love her. I hope she's there for me at times that I really need her.


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